Packer`s wife here.....I think we all live with the constant fear you talk about.......Packer just had 3 major surgeries in a month, and another one coming up the beginning of the year.............I`m always thinking what if........i don`t sleep much..........we are both on antidepressants, and it`s an area you might look into..........they don`t take any of the problems and fear away, but do help you cope somewhat better.......and you have come to the right place..........there`s lots of prayers and support here.....dee