Hi we are new to the board. Was emailed and told this site is very helpful. Last year my husband had noticed a pain (in the back part of your mouth where your upper and lower teeth meet.) He kept putting ambosol on it. I made several appt. for him to go to the doctors he kept canceling them. Finally memorial weekend he went the doctor told him to go see a dentist. Mean time my son had a serious burn accident so he put off going to the dentist. In Nov. he came out of the shower looking white as a ghost. He had a large lump in his throat. I called a specialist and he got us in the next day. He did the scope down my husbands nose. He told us he was 90% sure it was cancer. He sent us off for a cat scan and other tests and told us to come back on Mon. Mon. came the tests were all positive he set him up for surgery on Thursday. He told us he would put a trch in for 3 days to help him breath. When he came out of surgery the doctor came out to talk to me. He said he was very sorry he could not get it all thatit was to close to his spine. He said radiation and chemo would get the rest of it. They cut him from ear to ear and took out all his lymph nodes. It is a year next week . He has gone through the radiation and chemo. They put him on ethyol which almost killed him. He stopped breathing and had a grand mal seizure. We learned this year that all doctors are definately not equal and that you have to be in charge of your own self. They have so many patients that you easily can slip through the cracks. He still has the trach in his throat and they also put a feeding tube in which he never had to use. They diagnosed hin with squamus cell stage 4 starting at the base of his tongue. It was in his oral cavity also. We went to Boston and they said they said our doctors were doing what they would do as far as treatment. My problem is this constant fear we have. My husband has one good day of optimist then 3days of depression. I try to put it way on the back burner so we can enjoy our life. My worst times are at night when Iam sleeping the what ifs. I want to help him because I know menatally you can heal yourself. We have a fifteen year old son and I also worry what toll this is all taking on him. Is this a normal part of healing? He gets very angry and depressed and I am his partner so I bear the brunt of it. If anyone has any sugg. on how to help him please let me know. I know ther are many survivors out there. He just needs to hear some positive feedback. Thanks! [B][/B]