Tom,

What she said!!
I agree 100% with Amy.
My sense of humor basically states it this way; Ask your wife, she's probably more than willing too so, make is not a good term, your official scribe.
Before appointment: write down any concerns and/or questions you have about anything even the hospital menu.
During appointment: take short notes of all points the Dr. makes. Don't be afraid to ask him/her to slow down, back up or clarify anything you are not certain of. Your lovely scri...I mean wife can record it. She too can ask any questions she wants.
After: Go for a nice long walk together, hold hands and laugh (leave your notes at home).
Then go over all that you have written and discuss the situation. Then write down any new questions that come to mind.
My advice from my personal experience with my treatment is, never be alone when the doctors visit you...and have someone taking notes.

My experience as a cancer patient was that I had 1000 questions to ask but, once the Dr. came in the room it was like a fishbowl was put over my head. I didn't remember, hear or comprhend anything let alone understand.

Your doctors are used to this and should welcome your efforts.

My thoughts and prayers are with you and your family Tom.

Mike