Dear Shelagh, there is nothing worse than watching someone you love suffer with unmanaged pain. As a caregiver, I take a different approach from the posts above.#1. It sounds like Les's pain management[ at home] has not been good so far.
#2. It sounds like she either got some bad advice about crushing those pills or she did not understand the instructions.
In either event, it sounds to me like she should be admitted to a hospital for a few days to get the pain under control and then get to go home with the medications that work and a clear understanding about how and when to administer them. Does she have someone to help? Once you are on strong drugs, you need help in keeping up with your doses.
I am not an advocate of the Fentanyl patch because my husband had a horrible reaction to it and scared us all.[ But he does not do well with drugs]. At any rate, I think Les needs to be under serious medical supervision while someone finds the relief that will work for her. You may have to fight for this, but she should get pain relief that does not further jeprodize her at this point. Amy