Gary,
Thanks for all the information and help. We had an appointment with the palliative doctor today and he has put my sister back on steroids which he thinks will help a lot of her 'minor' problems. He more or less said that the salivary gland had been permanently damaged - which didn't go down too well! So she just has to persist with the mouth gel and lots & lots of water.
She has found another lump in the throat area just this week so we are going back to the hospital consultant on Wed. It might just be a gland thing, but best to get it checked out. And we're hoping that he'll also be able to get Lesley an appointment with the hospital dentist. Apparently there is an extremely lengthy waiting list - but I would hope that due to her circumstances, she could get seen without too much delay.
Thanks for the advice about diet. I suggested lots of things to her today, but she really has given up on food. A few weeks ago she at least managed to eat potato & gravy - but she says that as she now has absolutely no appetite, as everything tastes like either cardboard or cotton wool, and as food just dries up in her mouth and can't be swallowed - well then, she just can't be bothered eating. The doc today didn't seem unduly concerned about this. I got her some dissolving vitamin/mineral tablets this afternoon - and it took a whole lot of persuasion to get her to sip it down. Unfortunately I live and work 30 miles away so can't care for her on a daily basis. She won't hear of any home hospice care - just says that she can manage on her own for the time being. So I guess I just have to go along with that - I can't force her to do things she doesn't want to, even though I think it would be better for her.
But it helps to talk about it with someone who has been through it and understands. Thank you for that.
Shelagh