Over the weekend: Found Ensure clear which I hoped would help me since milk based things nauseate me, but it stings my mouth horribly. Back to choking down regular Ensure. That hurts too. Water burns, my dexamethasone rinse stings. I'm trembling and tearing up anytime I have to use my mouth for drinking or talking.

Treatment day #24 Went to see my doctor after treatment to ask for pain meds, she wasn't in. The other doctor agreed to see me and prescribed viscous lidocaine. It's so thick I nearly vomited right away even diluted with water. It also didn't work at all on my tongue, just my gums which are not all that painful.
Treatment day #25 Finally got pain meds -hydrocodone. 7.5mg cuts the pain by about half? Makes it bearable, but makes the nausea way worse, so didn't help me eat at all.
Treatment day #26 Really scared I'd vomit during treatment when I'm strapped in and have a huge thing in my mouth. I know they watch me, but I don't know how I wouldn't aspirate... Started Dramamine before the hydrocodone tonight and it helped a bit.
Treatment day #27 Dramamine and Omeprazole before radiation, Aleve after, and hydrocodone around 3pm when the pain from coughing, talking, etc sets in is working pretty well. Regurgitated after dinner because I tried getting 2 Ensure Very High Calorie drinks down rather than 1.
Treatment day #28 Misery. Even with the above regimen. I don't know how I can get through even 2 more treatments. This is inhumane!
Over the weekend Same. I'm really down. Boyfriend took me to the beach which was nice, but I still don't know how to deal. I think I need to start taking the pain meds regularly. I can't seem to get ahead of the pain tonight.

No longer meeting my calories according to my Fitbit. The doctor was happy I've only lost 2 pounds and said not to stress about calories anymore due to the pain. Got about 500 calories less on Wednesday and about 800 less since then. I'm sure my depression and lack of energy is due to this, but until the pain goes down it's all I can do. It takes me about 30 min to drink 8oz right now and the struggle is as emotionally painful as it is physically.