I think I may be able to relate a bit. I've been heimliched several times. I live alone now and am really cautious about what I put in my mouth. It was with the expectations set by my physicians that let me believe my reality would be better than this. So, I've asked my physicians to stand by their word(s) just as I must. And, therefore I put them on notice that I expect more creativity and curiosity in my case to help overcome physical or emotional/mental obstacles for daily life. I didn't want to take action at all being a late arrival to the party being stage iv scc hard palate, maxilla, sinus, neck bisection. But, they ensured a better life-style outcome. No clean margins and the usual protocol which has debilitating effects. I now put the 'titanium' screws to them and tighten each time they recommend another procedure or medication. So sorry you are going through this. I see a psychologist weekly to help overcome some of my fears and it has been helpful - but only when I do the homework.