as a caregiver who kept it pretty quiet in my actual life, I will say (someone warned me about this) that your life does get pretty small. your tribes of friends get small. I only had adult children around who didn't want to help me or their dad...early 20s...still young and wanting to be independent. You can't get away from the cancer nor the treatments, it is your life when you are the caretaker. I was fortunate to have a group of 5 women and this board to carry me along through the whole process. your dad does need a support system. My friends couldn't fix it, no one offered meals or anything else. I did have some co workers give me some money. But my friends could go out for a cup of coffee and just listen to where my life was at. your dad needs that outlet or the process will drive him crazy.


Spouse of 58 yr old with BOT cancer
Stage 4a HPV16 positive
3 chemo treatments cisplantin
35 radiation treatments 7000 cGy
former smoker/chewed tobacco for 38 yrs.
1/2020 diagnosed with cancer near TMJ
4/2020 chemo 5 days every 2 weeks
6/2020 proton therapy
9/21/2020 cancer free