Hello, I'm saddened to read your story and that you have need of support.
It sounds like you have a large tumour if it has crossed the midline. Do ask about partial glossectomy with forearm free flap.This may be an option other than full glossectomy.
My husband had a large tongue tumour. It was at the base of tongue and also crossed the midline. He was initially treated with radiation and chemo, but this did not work. By this time his tumour extended into the epiglottis ( which is the top portion of the larynx). Kris then had a full glossectomy, plus a laryngectomy . Does your tumour involve the larynx? Why are they recommending Laryngectomy? If you have a Laryngectomy you don't require a tracheostomy as you will have a permanent opening on your neck to breathe through. If your epiglottis is involved, then , unless they do a laryngectomy , you will be at risk of aspirating food and fluids. Sorry, I'm a bit confused as to where exactly your tumour is and what treatment is recommended.
Anyway, my Kris now has the stoma on his neck to breathe through. There is no risk of aspiration. Even without his tongue, he can and does swallow. His PEG is long gone. He also has intelligible speech.
I'm wanting to give you hope Izzy. Kris has no tongue and no voice box and is alive and well 8 years post diagnosis. Life is certainly different, but it is still good. Please ask me any questions you want/need answered. PM me if you want. Take care,
Tammy.

Caregiver/advocate to Husband Kris age 59@ diagnosis
DX Dec '10 SCC BOT T4aN2bM0 HPV+ve.Cisplatin x3 35 IMRT.
PET 6/11 clear.
R) level 2-4 neck dissection 8/1/11 to remove residual node - necrotic with NED
Feb '12 Ca back.. 3/8/12 total glossectomy/laryngectomy/bilat neck dissection/partial pharyngectomy etc. clear margins. All nodes negative for disease. PEG in.
March 2017 - 5 years disease free. Woohoo!