You sure have a nice doc!!! When I begged to get rid of my feeding tube, my doc said I must go without using it 1-2 months without losing even a pound before he would consider removing it. Oh how I detested that tube!!!! But boy did I struggle when I finally convinced my doc I would be ok. For me, being tube free was a temporary freedom due to having a recurrence where I required getting the feeding tube put back. It took me a very long time to fully understand the tube Id been hating, was just another tool to get me thru some rough times.

I was just like you at 3 months post rads. I couldnt wait to be back to my old routines and life. I even went back to work part time way before I was ready to help get back into my familiar routines where I was productive instead of being a patient. OC isnt just difficult to get thru those horrible treatments, I downplayed the mental impact everything was having on me. I was determined to put those days of sickness, treatments and sleeping all day away and move on. Only problem was I couldnt move on until I was 100% as well, as close to my old self as was possible. I dont often discuss the mental anguish OC caused in my life. Thinking back I should have been better at taking my own advice to other OC patients and finding a professional to talk to.

In the whole scheme of things, having that tube another month or 2 really isnt very long. With your being on the slim side and already losing 20 pounds, to me that says it all... unfortunately for now, you should hang onto your feeding tube. I know how much being rid of the feeding tube means you really are finally better. Getting your feeding tube removed is a major accomplishment. Its an achievable goal every OC patient that has a tube dreams of. Do yourself a big favor and just hang onto it a little longer until you are doing better with your eating and saliva. Staying positive helps too, Im a firm believer in positive thinking! Avoid anyone thats overly negative to help you to remain positive. It just all takes time, more time than any of us like but in time you definitely will improve.

Hang in there!!!