ConnieT - I was just about to write a similar post. I am so sick of my husband's attitude and control issues. So I totally understand your frustration. This is our second time going thru this. The first time was 11 years ago, a year and a half after we got married. I had to take care of his wounds, give him meds and food intravenously for 3 months. He was hospitalized for malnutrition and he said it was my fault. Really?! He was awful the first time and I really think I have PTSD over it. It was traumatizing the first time. He had radical neck dissection, half of his tongue removed chemo and radiation. Then 5 years later all of his teeth removed, implants and dentures. Our marriage has been very stressful.

Now here we are again when we have finally gotten over the financial impact of the first time and now this. He said he would be a better patient but he is not. The last two times we went to chemo he was severely dehydrated. Before we even started the treatment I asked the oncologist if we should be proactive and set up extra hydration he dismissed me and said it wasn't necessary. Really?! Now he has had a port put in his arm because the last two times they had to poke him 4 and 5 times to do chemo. They also set up hydration for me to do at home for him. SO the nurse came by Friday to give instructions and deliver supplies to do the hydration at home. That all went well. As soon as she left he started in that he didn't need it. I was so pissed! Then I said we need to come to agreement that we would do it at least 1 time between chemo and he said no not if he didn't need it. Last time before we went to chemo I said he was probably dehydrated and he said no he wasn't he peed all night. Well he was severely dehydrated blood pressure 70/65. So I told him he cannot tell when he is dehydrated and we should just do it as a preventative measure. He was still pushing back. When I get home from work I ask how much he was able to eat and he is really shitty about his answer. Like I'm asking because I'm truly interested in what he ate. Today he hands me his med bottles and says he needs refills. One bottle has over 30 pills in it and it was refilled on Oct 10th. Hmm if he is taking it why is there so many pills. I ask him and again attitude. He says I am treating him like a child. I really am not I think it was a reasonable concern.

I have barely spoken to him since Friday. If he wants to be in charge then fine I'm done. He can't pick and choose when I can help him. I just don't know if our marriage can make it through it for a second time. I am beyond stressed out. We have 2 more weeks of chemo and rads so it hasn't even gotten to the worst part. Thanks for listening. It just feels good to get it out of my head.