Cancer and the treatments have the potential to make you feel like a victim. (If you let it......) The damage it causes goes a lot deeper than the removed of or retention of ineffective organs and remaining soft tissue. The psychological issues aren't really addressed as adequately as the physical issues are. SO - It's up to you to find the resolve to go on with your fight to become cancer free and find whatever your new normal is. (Your new normal WILL be different, but again, hopefully, you have a lifetime to adjust!)

Call it what you want Monster works well. I've called it much worse in darker more desperate times. I think that the best thing would be to eventually call yourself a survivor and let the experience add to your strength of character.

Family is great and having a support system in place makes your final goals more attainable. But, unfortunately, family is not the best place to express your fears and offer useable advice. (At least my family.....)

Good Luck with the next stage of your fight.

Focus on one thing at a time and eventually you will come out the other end.

Try not to let this beat you psychologically.

Please consider following up with a professional

To answer you question about living life after cancer - Life is what you make of it. This site is full of survivors that have full and fulfilling lives. (I'm a civil engineer, married, work 50 hours a week, have two kids, both conceived after completing my first surgeries and subsequent treatments that went with my initial oral cancer diagnosis, I've coached youth sports, skied, hiked, mountain biked and led a wonderful active 17 years between my initial and second diagnosis. Now I still work, and independently coach my daughter, but have a reduced energy level and also have issues with speech and swallowing. I'm still dad to my kids, Boss to my staff at work. Friend to all that are worthwhile....)

Really - Don't let this beat you