Cathy, I think your Drs are being honest with you and giving you the worst case scenario. You will be able to talk after this surgery without doubt. How clear that is will be up to you. You will need to work with a good Speech therapist, hopefully someone with experience with patients like you ( not that there are many who have this surgery). You will have to work at it and practice, practice, practice. It will take some time to get the best speech you can. Stay positive over this, you can do it.
There are many taste buds situated all over the mouth , oropharynx and the nose. Your sense of smell helps with this too. Despite also having a partial phatyngectomy and with no sense of smell, Kris does taste. Not as strongly as he did prior to the surgery, but he does taste.
Do get your 2nd opinion and then go with the most experienced Head&Neck surgeon team.
I am of the opinion that attitude of the patient also plays a large part in recovery. I hope that you have extended Family support to help with child care and to assist you with the recovery process. Keep active and get out for walks. Interact with Family and friends. I also think that a "happy" pill in the early months is not a bad idea. Having to cope with a depression doesn't help the recovery process. Do whatever you need to keep yourself on that upwards cycle.
Stay positive, you will get through this and you will continue to enjoy life.
Tammy

Caregiver/advocate to Husband Kris age 59@ diagnosis
DX Dec '10 SCC BOT T4aN2bM0 HPV+ve.Cisplatin x3 35 IMRT.
PET 6/11 clear.
R) level 2-4 neck dissection 8/1/11 to remove residual node - necrotic with NED
Feb '12 Ca back.. 3/8/12 total glossectomy/laryngectomy/bilat neck dissection/partial pharyngectomy etc. clear margins. All nodes negative for disease. PEG in.
March 2017 - 5 years disease free. Woohoo!