Laura,

I'm sorry you had to find yourself in this situation, but I know you'll get a great deal of support here. There are some parts of your story that sound familiar to me -- being told that "it couldn't possibly be cancer because it's painful", and being a nonsmoker in your 30's and therefore not considered to be at risk.

Even though my surgery showed clear margins and no sign of lymph node involvement, my H&N cancer team pushed strongly for radiation (I think in part because I was young and the tumor was poorly differentiated). You're right that no one would "want" to have radiation, but in hindsight I have to say I'm glad I had it (although at the time I thought I'd never say that!). I don't know whether your doctors will think it's advisable for you, but if they do, there are a lot of us here who will do what we can to try to help you get through it.

Please keep us posted as you go along, and feel free to bring up your questions or concerns here.

Cathy