Thanks Heidi and Tammy. You are both treasures to your mother and husband and to the oral cancer community. My first thought was to advise my son to do some research so he felt less helpless but then I wondered if that was good advice. My husband, who now has dementia, never took an interest in the facts of my various cancers but then we didn't have Dr Google to such an extent in those earlier days and we both blindly trusted doctors to inform us and do their best. Ironically when my husband was diagnosed with Alzheimers I did a lot of research but that was different. Times had changed and he was incapable of understanding what was wrong with him. I've had a strange history of patient/caregiver relationships.

I'm very hopeful about my daughter-in-law but it's a terrible ordeal and I want to share my experience of cancer in a wise and helpful way. I don't want to overwhelm them with the wrong advice. I think I'll be okay if I tell him every cancer patient needs a Heidi or a Tammy:)