Hi Will and welcome to OCF. Firstly take everything you read on the internet (including here) with a grain of salt. Googling symptoms without medical context will just scare yourself silly, as you've probably already discovered. The net is good for helping you understand what the doctors are telling you, but it won't tell you what you really want to know. Is this going to kill me. You don't care about much else when your life is on the line, and that is completely normal. But the net won't have the answer.

When your TV isn't working, you don't go spending money ripping it open straight away. You eliminate the simple things, like its plugged in, the remote has fresh batteries. Thats what the doctor is doing now. Eliminating the simple and likely, before going into the more detailed investigations. Its completely normal and appropriate.

I saw a lot of psychs this year. Psychologists, counsellors, psychiatrists. I saw 4 different psychs for 4 different phases. First was to help cope with the waiting for the diagnosis. Second was to cope with treatment, third to help manage the recovery, and the fourth was to help transition me back to work. I've been on a combination of sleeping medications, anti-depressants (I'm off those now) and counselling nearly the whole year. For you, learning some coping strategies to help with the waiting will be helpful.

There will be no magic bullet on Jan 2. If, and its a big if, if you have OC there are many many steps in the investiation and treatment and a lot of waiting. The next test. The next specialist. The next treatment. It seems endless. And all you can do is wait. And then after months of treatment and recovery, I have to wait another 4 years before I've declared cancer free. You should not be living your life waiting for a doctor to tell you its ok. If we did that we'd die waiting. Take some solace you've done everything you need to do and everything you can do before the next appointment, and make a point of enjoying the holidays just that little bit extra this year.