Hi Deborah,
Sorry so rough. My husband had surgery in April and it was awful. I read some of the posts where people are doing so well and back to work, etc., but it is not that way for everyone. My husband had and has a very rough time also. He is also fairly young (44) and we have a 6 year old son. It really will get better though or maybe we just get better at dealing with it. When my husband came home he was so sick and a full time job to care for, and I am an R.N. I try to be positive, but I think it is ok to be scared-I think we can't help it. It is terrifying to see them suffer and to think of losing your husband and your child's father. Not to mention all they would miss. These are the realities. But, you you will get through it, for him and your son. I really do know how you feel and hope ypu dind some peace in the near future.
Doreen