Thanks for the support. Yesterday was a little better although he wouldn't let me give him any Jevity in the peg -said it tasted terrible when he hiccuped. We went for a ride after radiation and he cried a bit and vented. He managed to eat a sandwich and drink some pepsi and water but complained he "ate too much" and it just sits in his stomach. We'll see the doctor tomorrow and I'll check with the nurse today - he's losing weight fast and I really think he needs nutrients sooner rather than later but I know I have to respect his decisions about his body and what he can take. I'm sort of enjoying the fact we only have radiation this week and not chemo and surgeries on top of that. I cry a lot though at the sudden change in our lives and those of our children. I think I should know better having lost my father to colon cancer at 55 and currently being a hospice nurse (on leave). I just hate to see John suffer and feel pretty helpless. I do have to remember that love and growth can happen through these dark times - I've seen it and felt it in the past. Hoping that it will happen again!