Oh yes. I remember this.
We had to drive 2 1/2 hours to our treatment centre for our first appointment with the tumour board. Our accommodation had been booked at the Cancer Lodge just down the road.
I could not get out of the car. I just burst into tears and told Kris that we just shouldn't be there. We shouldn't be there and this should not be happening to us.
Poor guy, he got out of the car and sorted things at the reception desk. I literally felt paralysed with grief and fear.
Of course things got better. Once we knew the treatment plan I felt so much better and able to cope. I put my Caregivers hat firmly on and once again became the control freak I am.
So yes, you are completely normal. I promise you it will get better. It sure is a hell of a roller coaster , but you both will get through this.
Tammy

Caregiver/advocate to Husband Kris age 59@ diagnosis
DX Dec '10 SCC BOT T4aN2bM0 HPV+ve.Cisplatin x3 35 IMRT.
PET 6/11 clear.
R) level 2-4 neck dissection 8/1/11 to remove residual node - necrotic with NED
Feb '12 Ca back.. 3/8/12 total glossectomy/laryngectomy/bilat neck dissection/partial pharyngectomy etc. clear margins. All nodes negative for disease. PEG in.
March 2017 - 5 years disease free. Woohoo!