I'm quickly making my way through the forum. First an introduction. Then a question about what to expect in treatment (which hasn't begun yet). Now 'coping'. Specifically with how to cope with family, friends and co-workers when you give them the news and even 'how to' give them the news. (Anger and Fear, you'll get your chance soon, I'm sure.)

At first I was going to see my doctors and have my imaging done more or less in secret. My girlfriend (a breast cancer survivor) knew and at the point I needed help getting to and from a biopsy I told my ex-wife and my folks. I was being prepared for the inevitability of my lump turning out to be cancerous but I was waiting for actual confirmation before I informed a wider audience.

Then there were the things going on around me; one kid graduating high school, the other junior high, then they were going on vacation with their mom and her family, then they were attending a family reunion with me and my daughter was turning 18. I didn't want to poop all the parties or rain on parades. So I held my tongue.

But of course the biopsies (:sigh:, it took two) came back with SCC etc. And things needed to be said. So together with my ex we talked to the kids. And I told my family and we told my exes family who are local and with who I'm very close still.

So now - two things. One is a rant and the other I need constructive advice and your experiences on.

Rant. <rant cancelled; too incoherent. My anger needs a time-out. Will start a new thread at some other time. If you like just imagine me holding my hands to my head and screaming Munch-esque>

What did some of you do about that larger circle of friends and acquaintances; the sort that might make up the majority of your Facebook friends and the like? Old classmates, friends-of-friends, distant family, etc. And how did you update even your closest family and friends (the ones you maybe don't see regularly face to face but who you love dearly) as you began treatment and following treatment?

I'm asking because this aspect, which I'm assuming falls under 'coping' does not appeal to me. I sort of feel like I don't want it to be a secret that I'm keeping, but at the same time I don't want to laboriously document things and explain (and explain, and explain). And mostly I don't want to put people in the position where they feel they have to say something or offer me their platitudes. It's a big ball of confusion. Is there a Dear Abby among us who has the rules of etiquette for this?

Paul