Hello Missy:
Welcome to the family. It's big and all of us share the one thing you are here for - oral cancer. Here you will find the quality support you need both from patients who have gone through it before you and from other caregivers who have helped a loved one through the journey.

Christine gave you some really good advice in the previous thread. She has been through this herself, so she knows of what she speaks. I expect as time goes on others who have also had the same surgery will comment too.

I am going to address what you wrote from a different angle. I understand you freaking out right now, you have just been hit in the face by the fury of Niagara Falls. That would knock anyone for a loop just as it did you. But, you have also had the opportunity to step out of the main stream into calmer water and to start thinking about what needs to happen first, what comes second etc, etc. I'm sure your list has at least 100 items on it right now. I think it's the quantity of items that are freaking you out, not the difficulty of handling each one individually.

Over the last year or so you have actually been handling these types of things already, albeit just on a smaller scale. They arrived at your door one or two at a time, which you found manageable, not 30 to 50 at a time which you THINK is unmanageable. You already know this, but big problems are really just the sum of a lot of small problems and they are solved the same way - one small problem at a time - one or two per day the same as you've been doing over the long term

So, take a giant step back and a deep breath. You are actually doing better than you think. You had the presence of mind to seek help and you found the right place to ask. Your new family is very good at giving the support you seek. The rest is just grinding out the solutions, one problem at a time, one day at a time. A year from now you will be in a position to help others get through their journey.

An adult beverage at night before bed might not hurt either.

Take care, ask us your questions, there are no taboo subjects.

Tony

Tony, 69, non-smoker, aerobatics pilot, bridge player/teacher, avid dancer (ballroom, latin, swing, country)

09/13 SCC, HPV 16, tonsillectomy, T2N0.
11/13 start rads, no chemo
12/13 taste gone, dry mouth,
02/14 hair slowly returning
05/14 taste the same, dry sinuses, irrigation helps.
01/15 food taste about 60% returned, dry sinuses are worse in winter.
12/20 no more sinus problems, taste pretty good