About a year ago, I was very upset about some posts in this forum. Brian Hill emailed me about my concerns, and asked me to call him to discuss it personally with him.
I will never forget that he took the time to try to contact me. I was unable to respond mentally or verbally at the time.
I might be one of the rare ones, as I had clinical depression before the cancer. I welcomed the cancer and embraced death - I came very close to it. I wanted to die of 'natural causes' so my husband would be able to claim my life insurance. He would find a new love and marry again.
This was not to be, as I survived. Much to my surprise. My husband took care of me throughout the whole ordeal.
I'm better now. It's been 2 years and I am still NED. Because of my 'cancer dance' I found out that I am bipolar. It's not an excuse, but it explains a lot of things in my life.
The good part about almost dying is I don't fear death. It was a warm and peaceful feeling.
I never did introduce myself, so that's why I'm posting here.
I miss Charm. xoxo