Hello Sophie, I am sorry to hear that your Husband is not sure about whether to have radiation or not, due to the long term after effects.
All I can say is that time helps us all adapt to our new lives. What can seem an insurmountable challenge today simply isn't in a few months.
Kris and I never once thought not to do a recommended treatment. Radiation is often the key to ensuring no recurrence. Though in our case , that wasn't so.
Even now, despite the immensely life changing surgery Kris has had , with all it's after effects, we would both take this route again. Kris has a good life and enjoys every day.
It is simply about accepting the changes and adapting life to them. Your husband will be amazed at what he can cope with and at how he makes little changes in his life to cope.
For us , the decision was simply about ensuring that there was going to be a life.
Thinking of you both,
Tammy


Caregiver/advocate to Husband Kris age 59@ diagnosis
DX Dec '10 SCC BOT T4aN2bM0 HPV+ve.Cisplatin x3 35 IMRT.
PET 6/11 clear.
R) level 2-4 neck dissection 8/1/11 to remove residual node - necrotic with NED
Feb '12 Ca back.. 3/8/12 total glossectomy/laryngectomy/bilat neck dissection/partial pharyngectomy etc. clear margins. All nodes negative for disease. PEG in.
March 2017 - 5 years disease free. Woohoo!