Wow Tony, you sound so positive and it does help to know what you went through, every experience shared is immensely important to my husband right now!

He wants to know what most people experience as in the secondary effects, what would be the 'norm' or what can be expected as a general rule? Right now he is sitting on the fence. He is contemplating going through or not with radiation. There is the risk of developing or not a secondary cancer or to go forward with radiation and face the potentially detrimental secondary long term effects.

The doctors have scared him unintentionally by not giving him an answer to what usually happens and warning him of the full range of life altering complications.

He has a scar from his surgery that already prevents him from tilting his head backwards and which feels like 'tight all around and pulling downward'. His surgery was two months and a little over a week ago on Oct. the 24th.

We were told today that the fibrosis in radiated skin develops over years. does the skin thickness/fibrosis usually happen to some degree and can it be very minimal in some cases?

The first focus of the radiation is all along his left jaw, from the front to the back, second area of focus is all along his neck and the doctor does seam concerned about the effect of the radiation on the already tightened and scarred incision line. He is doing Yoga three times a day and following the stretching exercises given to him by his speech pathologist every few hours. My husband already had one salivary gland removed during his surgery and the Radiologist sounded certain that two more would be lost. Is it really that certain in some pointed radiation treatments?

He has asked me what I would do but all I could do was share everything I know from what everyone has shared here. I have also let go of the dependency on statistics because all that information is so general and unspecific.

What is life like after radiation? Is there a way to live and somehow find peace and balance with all it can bring? And if anybody knows, how critical is radiation with a mandiblectomy and two positive lymph nodes?

He really wants to hear what it is like for others and I can not help him in that respect. I guess I need some honesty, I know that everyone can have a bad day or a bad week but what my husband is looking for is an overall enjoyment of life in the little ways that really matter like enjoying a social outing at a restaurant and being comfortable enough in his body that he will want to paint and focus on his career again. I know I am asking a very subjective and personal question but time is of essence in terms of my husband being able to make a decision he will be able to live with.

Are you able to make peace with all the discomfort and find a new way of being happy?

Thanks again for sharing, it means the world right now, tomorrow will be his second radiation treatment. He is sleeping pretty heavily which is a relief.
Love in the OCF, Sophie