Hi Bill - I've been a member of the forum for about 2 months, so I'm on the other end of the spectrum from you, really just getting started on the journey. So far, it's been easy to stay positive, to listen to what others advise, to avoid worrying about things you have no control over. I suppose it's easy to do when you're in the first course of treatment and everything looks good.

But, as you and many others have said, it doesn't always go as we would like. After trying to stay positive for so long, the bad news sometimes comes anyway. Then we find out what we are made of. Can we stay positive in spite of what looks like bad news. Can we keep up the fight with enthusiasm.

Fortunately, we have people on this forum like Bart, someone who has been through this not once or twice, but three or four times and he still maintains an upbeat, positive attitude; and though things aren't going as he would like he still takes the time to offer words of encouragement to others.

Bart taught me something early on after joining the forum. He has a phrase he uses "don't attach to outcomes". The first time I heard that it was like a baseball bat across the forehead, it really got my attention. To me it means it doesn't matter whether the news is good or bad, it is what it is, so now what are you going to do with it. Instead of worrying and fretting whether that next CT will show more cancer or less cancer is irrelevant, what is important is realizing that if it's bad news we just great it with "okay what do I need to do next", a never say die attitude so to speak.

Giving up and going quietly into that good night is an easy attitude to develop after bad news. That just lets the cancer win. Fighting, kicking and screaming all the way through the battle, never giving up, always going for that victory no matter how slight the chance is how I see Bart. It's how I hope I will be if it goes that way for me. It's how I hope you are too right now Bill.

It's darkest just before the dawn.

Stay strong Bill

Tony