Hi Bill, welcome to the Family, as my friend Tony (n74tg) would say.

I'm in the same boat as you. I was stage IV when diagnosed, but I always suspected that it was worse than that, since I'd had the lump that led to the initial diagnosis for over 6 years, and had it biopsied at that time. Unfortunately, neither my family doc, nor the ENT who did the biopsy, thought it worth worry, so I disregarded it as being merely cosmetic.

Ah well, too soon old, too late smart, eh?

Anyway, I mention this because after my initial treatments (8 weeks rad and 3 applications of Cisplatin) I was "free of detectable cancer" on 12/10/09.

Seventeen months later, tumors showed up in my liver. The good news was that the liver is the most forgiving organ and can spring back from unbelievable abuse, thus the tumors were relatively easy to beat down with chemo, and I've done that three times already.

The less than jubilant news is that I earned my membership to the Stage IVc club. All further treatment is palliative only.

However, this time, we went with Xeloda (pills) which worked for #3 occurence, failed to do any good this time, and at mid-course scoping, showed growth in the existing tumors, plus a new crop in the other lobe of the liver.

This time, we're going back with radiation and I've just completed the Tx. This time, we packed each lobe of the liver with microscopic beads with a tiny chunk of Yttrium-90 (beta emitter) by going in through the femoral artery and inserting the beads directly into the arteries leading to the tumors from INSIDE the liver.

An unplanned bonus is the money I anticipate earning when I lease myself out to a small country to augment their electrical-power production. I'm so radioactive at this moment (5th day post the procedure) that my wife has to sleep in another room (for real). Tomorrow, we can resume normal life.

I've had nearly continuous chemo ever since joining the Stage IVc club, and frankly, my quality of life has remained fairly normal. I am plagued by "Chemo brain" and constipation is my constant companion, but that stuff is just noise, in the greater scheme of things and I remain a happy camper.

I'm grateful for the additional time it gives me to arrange things as advantageously as I can, and frankly, I'm happy to have the additional time just to enjoy the planet, my Wife, friends, and my cat, Waldo.

You're not alone, brother. My only advice is to avoid the "woe is me" trap, it is what it is and no one gets out of here (this life) alive. No one knows how much time we have on the planet, and in your case and mine, there are plenty of unsuspecting folks who are going to "call in dead" before our number rolls around. Live and enjoy every moment, that is the ultimate purpose of life.

Good luck,

Bart