Stacy,

I can honestly say my friend, I know how you feel. I've lost many a friend to this horrid disease over the last 5 years, a weight I don't often deal well with. I don't think the pain every fully goes away, and I'm changed after every one. It often makes me crabbyto be around.

I just lost my friend Tom a little over a week ago from his 3rd bout with Oral Cancer and I'm reeling. I write for a living really and I haven't been able to express myself well without taking other peoples heads off, anger is how I've always expressed my feelings, which is a dysfunction I learned from my parents who learned from theirs etc... It makes for making and keeping people close a tough one which is one of the many reasons why Tom and I got a long. We were both too mouthy for our own good.

I lost my friend Nate last year to this disease too and I still haven't recovered, I miss him everyday. I keep myself busy volunteering and trying to keep in shape, and spend as much time with loved ones as I can, but I plug into these forums daily if only to read and draw strength from the beautiful people here. I've limited my writing here because I haven't wanted to spread my grief, but really this is the only place to do it as nobody else understands.

I'm glad you found these forums my friend, I'm sorry you had to.

Eric