Hi,
Wow David...you hit it all!!!
As you can see by my signature, my husband had the same dx as your husband. We did not have surgery as the oncologist felt it would weaken his immune system by removing all the lymph nodes on the right side. We did have induction chemo, then chemo with the radiation. We are one and a half years out of tx now and doing well. Kevin didn't work during his tx, but part of that was because he works in Alaska on the north Slope and we live in NY. That travel was out of the question. He was back to work on January 5th 2012 though, which amazed everyone considering the work conditions in Alaska. It was -60 when he got back!
The second opinion is a great idea before having any big surgeries. They may do a surgery to removed the tumor, but that was not too bad.
Other than that...listen to David!!
Remember it will get rough. It sounds like your hubby is as strong as mine. The never been sick is a familiar story. It will be hard to see him struggle, but remember you are NOT alone. We are here 24/7. Vent away and someone will answer in a reasonable amount of time. You've had lots of offers for personal help too, so that's great. You can always add me to the PM list too if you'd like.
Keep in touch and remember you are his friend, wife, lover and now nurse....be tough when you need to, but remember to have some cuddle time too. Sometimes it might feel like he has completely pulled away, but don't let him. Even if it's just laying beside him watching a movie or just resting.
You'll get past this and will move on!! Hang in there!
Kathy