Im so sorry to read your post about your brother! As a patient, I understand how bad oral cancer can be. Im sure he feels awful from being malnourished and dehydrated, plus taking strong meds on top of not being able to speak. All of that adds up to one miserable patient. While I do understand and empathize with him, I also feel there is NO excuse for that type of behavior.

I have already given you detailed info about the importance of hydration and nutrition while going thru oral cancer treatments and recovery. That info is very important and will determine how easily he will get thru treatments. At some point the patient must be responsible for themselves and their actions. If he chooses to ignore advice given and not focus on his nutrition and hydration then he will struggle. While he is suffering it is not fair to take his frustrations out on anyone. Many patients will go thru a period of adjustment where they blame everyone and everything for their situation.

I do see all sides of this and know how difficult it is being the patient and going thru the brutal OC treatments. The caregiver has an even harder job, they must do everything for the patient and still try to maintain their own life at the same time. I truly believe it takes a special person to be a caregiver, someone who is unselfish and caring that also has a backbone to stand up for the patients best interests. Not an easy job at all! But to have the patient be rude on top of everything they do for them, thats just not right.

I suggest printing out a bunch of these posts and leaving them for your brother to read (or mail them to him). He may not even realize he is being so awful. He could be so caught up in his own pity party that he has not stopped to think of anyone else's feelings. Battling OC is difficult for everyone not just the patient, but also the caregiver and entire family. I hope he can understand others are working hard to help him and could use some empathy too. Try your best to overlook his rudeness and keep doing what you are doing. Its NOT you or your parents that he is angry with. A therapist and anxiety meds would be a very good idea to help him deal with his feelings.

Good luck!!!!