In regards to the ear pain, I had unexplained ear pain in my left ear for a really long time prior to my diagnosis, but it was unrelated to my cancer (different period of time). I had a specialist check it out, and he couldn't really find a reason for it.
Also, I think if you had the spot for such a long period of time, by this time a doctor would definitely be able to identify it if it looked like cancer; I ignored my lesion for a while (started out pre-cancerous lukoplake and eventually developed into cancer), and when I finally saw a dentist about a year after the original symptoms started he (and the oral surgeon who took my biopsy) immediately was pretty certain it was cancer, and I didn't even suggest/suspect that's what it was.

Hopefully you can get some peace of mind!