As I posted to Jay, I've found the Leonard Cohen song Hallelujah very moving this last month. Yesterday the mail came late and in it was the written radiologist report of my MRI. Bev and I were gloomy since it basically said that the tumor had only slightly shrank and that even worse, there was abnormal tissue running all the way from my tonsil to the hyoid bone "consistent with recurrent tumor and neoplasm". Hospice for sure. It was certainly going to be a "cold and broken" hallelujah of acceptance.
Just got back from the Radiation Oncologist (RO) appointment.
Although it seemed like a Hail Mary Pass, after my RO read the same MRI report I did and drew the same negative conclusions, he convened the entire tumor board and brought the radiologist back and they concluded that all that bad stuff was edema from having so much radiation over the "maximum". Turns out the damage was more than I had thought
So it looks like the cancer is in remission.

Even better, after the RO looked in my mouth and poked at the "squishy" tissues, he said you must be in a lot of pain every day - which is true. He asked if I was still putting wine down my feeding tube and when I said yes, he said no more percocet - too much Tylenol in it, and put me on the 12mcg fentanyl patch plus some hyrdomorphone (2mg) pills for breakthru pain.
We filled them at the hospital pharmacy since they are not commonly in stock at regular pharmacies.
So what a great relief. Hallelujah indeed.
Just goes to show why a CCC is so good.
We are very happy and relieved.
Thanks to everyone for all the good wishes and support.
Charm