I was right where you were a year ago - Ken had only been gone for 5 months. My daughter was only 19 months old though so I had her to keep my mind off of the bad most of the time. I would never done anything for the holidays but we did get a tree but I couldn't put our "special" ornaments on - those stayed in the box. I didn't put out any of my snowman collection either. Watching Morgan open her presents was the only good part of the day. We did make dinner and had both sets of parents over. Then my dad helped me with some home projects. I wasn't a great holiday but we got through it...and you will too! This year we put the "special" ornaments out and I am doing Elf on the Shelf for Morgan and an Advent calendar so I am into a little more but it still sucks!
Do something special with your son and know that your husband is with you every step of the way!