Adjusting to the new way of life is not an easy thing to do, especially if you have become disfigured or lost your ability to speak. That is similar to taking away one major component of your whole being.

I do not have a stoma voice box so Im sorry I cant give you any technical advice on that but I can help with his new shyness.

Its very normal to have the fears you mentioned. Many survivors will seek out professional therapists or even psychologists to help them learn to adjust to their new normal. Many will take (sometimes temporary) anxiety meds (even the caregivers). He has been thru the war and made it back which is no small feat. One thing he needs to drill into his head is that no matter what happens, he is still the same person inside. It took me quite a while and to adjust to my new way of life, so I know he can too. I was hideously disfigured from oral cancer. Even while I was stuck in the hospital for 2 months I began to tell myself "you are still you, nobody can take that away". I suggest giving him time by starting to do very small trips. Maybe take a walk around the block, go to a movie or a quick trip to the grocery store. These things have little interaction with others so he probably wouldnt have to speak at all. Slowly build him up to going out to more interactive things.

Best wishes!


PS... Next to the My Stuff tab you should see a flashing envelope. I sent you a private message (PM) with some helpful tips.