Mike � I only speak as a caregiver here, having watched my son go thru some very difficult times of his recovery. I think we all (survivors and caregivers alike) have had those �scared stiff� moments. I�ve had them big time. For me, it was getting into the �fight mode� and putting one foot in front of the other and taking care of what needed to be done. It does help to have a reason or a �why� for continuing the fight ( as Tina mentions) like family, friends, etc. For my son, it was his 5-year old daughter that got him concentrating on the �why� of his recovery and continuing on with his Rad Tx. Just waiting for something, (like your Dec 10th event) can be a crazy-maker and keeping busy doing something you like or something you have to do, can alleviate some of the anxious moments.

When those anxious, negative moments start scrambling around in your brain, give them a time limit and then force yourself to think of the positives like your good chances for a cure and of avoiding surgery. Another good possibility is that in your particular recovery, it may not get worse. Some survivors have a much easier time of it than others and you could be one of them! Hang in there Mike, and come back here often!