Thank you adding your stories too , they are all so touching. One thing I also wanted to add, was when mum first got diagnosed, as anyone who has had an experience with cancer, the shock was just numbing, so much so, for the first time in my 35 years I saw my father cry (that was so hard to handle, he was always the strong one?) but what I was going to say, was I intially felt I had to do something, make it right for them all,it seemed I was the only one who could just about function, i had to take control, as you know the feeling of hopelessness is over powering, we all know if we could chop off our arm to heel our loved ones, we all would, but the feeling of not knowing what to do to help is really hard. However amongst many other things i did to help, I decided in desparation to go onto the net and search for info on jaw cancer and I came across a sight which claimed to have this heeler who could tell me all about it, basically after reading my e mail wanting help, he replied my mother had no chance of survival,surgery will not help her, she will be butchered and it will not work, say your goodbyes! Honestly, I read those words over and over again, horrorfied and I cried my heart out, inconsoleable, was this really the fate of my dear mother. How could I let her go for surgery with someone telling me this? I kept these words to myself (naturally) scared to death. However what you need to know is the man that gave me this advise was not a doctor, but a so called heeler? and I had strayed into a sight which was not official and he knew no more of my mothers fate than I. Please be everso careful!! the internet can be great but it sadly has heartless people who play with vulnerable peoples emotions. Then I found this OCF sight and Brian was brilliant, he gave me hope and genuine advise, to anyone who is reading about oral cancer for the first time. Dont go anywhere else but here and this sight, stay on this sight, you will get support and care and genuine facts and advise and not be mislead. There are some really horrible people out there, that may tell you things that may not happen and I would hate for anyone to experience an unnecessary scare as i did. The only people you should listen to is your doctor. REMEMBER MY MOTHER RECOVERED (we have had one and half years more than we ever hoped for), SHE GOT THROUGH WHAT WAS A VERY SERIOUS CONDITION, I AM NOT GOING TO SAY IT WAS EASY,BUT SHE RECOVERED AND HAS A GOOD QUALITY OF LIFE NOW, HER SCARS HAVE HEELED. i REALISE SADLY NOT EVERYONE MAKES IT AND I AM SO VERY SORRY TO THOSE WHO HAVE LOST, MY THOUGHTS ARE WITH YOU AND I SEND MY LOVE, BUT CANCER CAN BE BEATEN SO FOR THOSE OF YOU IN THE MIDDLE OF IT ALL, STAY STRONG AND THINK OF WHAT YOU WILL DO WHEN YOU ARE WELL,TALK AND PLAN SOMETHING NICE, DO THINGS THAT MAKE YOU HAPPY, TRY AND KEEP NORMALITY AS MUCH AS POSSIBLE, STAY STRONG, STAY POSITIVE, we send positive across the pond to you all, and kind thoughts your way. xxx