I am writing to you about my mother, who in january of 2003 was diagnosed with cancer of the upper jaw. In short we went through the terror of cancer, especially when we were told it was serious and she was stage 3+ she had to have her upper jaw on one side removed and half the roof of her mouth, she had her skull cut open to take out 'skull matter' to rebuld her mouth, add that to a scar right down the middle of her face, it was not nice, she has to now wear a false plate and it was a truely awful time for us all. However she survived! a few months later she had a scare of a lump in her neck, to be on the safe side she had it removed,again we were all terrorfied for her, it was not cancerous thankfully, so we were very lucky.

My dear mother really went through the mill, however what I wanted to convey to you is, nearly a year a half has elapsed and life is back on track, she is still cancer free. My mother has aged a bit mind, she has took a hammering by all she has been through, but she is out and about, she is not letting it effect her life. She goes out weekends, running a market stall, even though she is 67!! (as its her hobby!) my father and her go on holidays to greece, I take mum out shopping and to shows and we have fun and I have had a whole year and a half more than i ever thought i would ever get. Life isnt quite the same for any of us, especially mum, she has had to get used to wearing a plate and she suffers with a sticky mouth, a result of the op and a saliva gland being removed, but she is getting on with things, she has been clear for a year and a half nearly and the fear and terror we experienced is still with us, but as a memory and there is life after cancer for us all. Believe me there IS life after cancer scares. If anyone who reads this who is in the middle of a scary moment, worrying about their loved ones, please have faith, please stay positive, we really did not think mums recovery was going to happen and we all knew we needed alot of luck on our side, but she got through it and we really have come out the other side, so it can happen. I think her strength of character made her beat it too, so stay strong and dont let it beat you! I hope this has given you hope. When mum was diagnosed we gave her 100% support, infact i gave up my work to be with her 8 hours a day throughout her operation and recovery, she said this helped, but we also tried everything, we were advised a vegan, healthy, organic diet was best , so when we could we BOTH ate it! (I ate it in support!) we laughed in the face of hopelessness, i know it sounds mad, but we tried to lighten the terror, by laughing of how ridiculous the situation was. A good example was when mum came out of hospital, her head was completely swollen and she had loads of huge staples in her head, her hair was full of dried blood and red, she desparately wanted it washed to feel better, but she couldnt stand for long, so I went into the garden got her a sun lounger and placed it in the shower, with her lying on it resting, but with me being able to gently shower her hair, as the sun lounger was plastic, so it didnt matter if it got wet. Well imagine the scene, the only way i could reach was to get in the shower, so i put on t shirt and shorts and there i was getting soaking wet trying to bathe my dear mums head as she led on a sun lounger in the bathroom! not really enjoying trying to bathe round a row of maybe 20 huge staples! Mad i know, but it worked and we laugh at how ridiculaous it must have looked till this day. Its not nice looking after someone who has gone through this, just to look at mums scars and staples and tending her scars was quite horrific, but we did it! I cried regularily into my pillow at night, scared for her, but the make up went on the next day when i saw her and I stayed positive and somehow we did it!
Mum looks ok now, her scars have heeled, no one would know what she has been through, its not obvious.Really and truthfully, normality can come back into your life. So please stay strong, as a carer i know how hard it is, but use the time to bond, you just have to make the best of a horrible time and pray and hope and do all you can. Personally we didnt ignore any advise, we tried reiki and healing crystals, everything, I doubt they did anything, but who knows? she is still here! anything is worth the try? We dont wish to just walk away and not give back anything to others, we know how lucky we are. If anyone would like to contact me for a chat, please do, we can relate our experiences if it helps. We wish everyone here on this sight strength to cope, lots of love and our very best wishes.
Su and her mum Janet xx