Hi aimlee. I love that you and your sister found the letters from your mom. I lost my mom 5 years ago September 28th to Pancreatic Cancer. She died at home and I still find it difficult at times being in my parents house without her there. It has gotten easier with time. My father still has all my mom's make-up, perfumes and brushes and combs on her dresser. All her undergarments are still in the drawers but he did donate most of her clothing that was in the closets. My parents were married for 56 years and my dad is so lost and sad without her.

My father won't let my sister and I have any of my mom's jewelry etc. until he dies. I wish I had some of my mom's things just to have them close to me. My daughter, Pam, who is my parents first grandchild is getting married next Friday. I wish my mom was here to share this special day. She was always so proud of Pam.

Everyone deals with grief differently so I try and keep that in mind when I get upset with my dad for holding onto my mom's things. I would love to have her handwritten recipes but I will just have to wait.


Wanda (47) caregiver to husband John (56) age at diag.(2009)
1-13-09 diagnosed Stage IV BOT SCC (HPV+)
2-12-09 PEG placed, 7-6-09 removed
Cisplatin 7 weeks, 7 weeks (35) IMRT
4-15-09 - treatment completed
8-09,12-09-CT Scans clear, 4-10,6-11-PET Scans clear
4-2013 - HBO (30 dives) tooth extraction
10-2019 - tooth extraction, HBO (10 dives)
11-2019 - Left lateral tongue SCC - Stage 2