JayTee
I'm assuming from your profile as a retired military you are used to hearing it like it is.
Posting [quote]Be advised that many of the answers will be for your eyes only and may not be pleasant. If I knew at the beginning of treatment what I know now, I don't know if I would have gone through it all with an unknowable result.[/quote] in response to another brand new poster who is a scared wife/caregiver of a fellow cancer patient strikes me as wrong on many levels.
Only your implicit confession of just how badly the uncertainty concerning recurrence has affected you prevents me from saying more than I can't imagine an experience that is so awful or unpleasant that it has not already been shared on this forum. Plus advice to a scared new caregiver is better on an open forum so others can chime in with different views and attitudes. I know you are trying to be helpful but I don't think this would be helpful to her.
Heads up, nobody knows if their TX will prevent the cancer from coming back. If having an "unknowable result" were a rational criteria for not suffering through this treatment, then not a single person would ever have radiation or chemotherapy. You are not helping yourself with this line of non-reasoning. Hey, trust me, I've been where you are at, not only once, but twice. It's hard, but doable.
Keep the Faith

Charm