Hi Aimee: I'm so glad you became a member of this Forum. Please stay with us. Your Mom was an incredible person and with strength too great to describe. You, too, are a strong person, and have gone through so much. There are no words to describe the loss of your Mom, except to say that she is still with you and guarding over you. At times you will feel her closeness, and that will make you smile. I lost my son when he was in his 20s, and at times I can actually feel his presence and "smell" his soap smell from his showers (don't think I'm nuts - just you wait . Time will help, but will never heal her loss. Memories will keep the love for her very much alive. Hugs from julieann