Welcome to OCF. Sorry to hear you have also had a recurrence. Going thru a big surgery and the recovery should be more than enough for anyone. Ive gone thru it 3 times within 3 years so I know how you felt when it came back. I was quite shocked and almost decided to just give in and not attempt to fight it. But I am a single mother and I had to at least try to get thru it for my family.

While it isnt easy to get thru all of this and still have a positive outlook, it can be done. What helps to keep me going is that I reach out and help others. By helping others, it helps me to feel of value and it gives me a reason to get up in the morning.

One common problem that many cancer patients share is anxiety and/or depression. The lack of motivation you described could be a sign of you becoming depressed. Its perfectly understandable after what you have gone thru. It can feel overwhelming to alot of patients. Even caregivers sometimes reach out to a therapist or take anxiety meds. Many patients do too. Its not a sign of weakness, its just a tool to help get you thru this part of your life. The site is a great place to come to for help and to share your feelings. You can vent away and be met with warmth and understanding.

I wish you all the very best with everything you have going on right now!