Thanks everyone. I appreciate the welcome. I feel like all of this has happened so fast with my husband's recurrence. I go from feeling devastated to having hope and faith that we can beat this on a random but regular basis! I've done a lot of research but that almost always makes me feel powerless unless I stumble across survival stories, which of course gives me a dose of well-needed strength and confidence. Our friends have been supportive for the most part, but they have also been asking the statistic questions as if we are being negligent by NOT asking our doctors. They cannot understand why we have not demanded to know! Sometimes I can see the statistics in the doctor's face--both positive and negative. Besides, there are too many variables to be considered, and asking about statistics would be pointless. My husband and I want to live each day like we have many, many days and years ahead of us rather than like we have a limited number. In my mind, living each day like it's the last would be depressing and I'd cry all the time. Don't get me wrong, though; we have planned for the future as best we can and we are not delusional as far as reality goes. We did not take life for granted before cancer even though we do appreciate it even more now.

The balancing act between being strong and being devastated is very tiring, though. I appreciate all the strength and encouragement of all these postings. Thank you.