Hello everyone. I have been reading the posting here for weeks and decided to introduce myself.

My father was diagnosed with stage 3 SCC of the left tonsil on October 30, 2011. The mass was 2 inches long, 1 inch wide and 1 inch deep. I am his primary caregiver so I immediately jumped online to see what we were dealing with. Mom is my backup but due to a TBI, I am in charge of figuring out what to expect, how to handle it, and supervise what she does to care for dad. I'm so grateful to stumble on this site.

Dad is a 9 year prostate cancer survivor. In comparison, that was a breeze. He had his prostate removed and that was that. Dad saw an ENT because his left tonsil was bleeding for several weeks. The biopsy was done a week later. Due to dad's numerous health problems he was not a candidate for surgery to remove the tonsil. Dad suffered five strokes last year so taking him off of his blood thinners for a week before surgery was out of the question.

Dad's treatment consisted of 8 rounds of Erbitux and 35 rounds of radiation. He is currently 10 days post-treatment. His oncologist told us that this was two Erbitux treatments more than he has ever given anyone else. The Dr. told dad he hit this cancer as hard as he could and that dad had been a real trooper.

An NG tube was inserted four weeks ago. Obviously, a PEG was completely out of the question. I hate that thing. It's fallen out 3 times. Even with the tube it is a challenge to get enough food and water into dad. I refuse to hold him down and force it in against his will. He's been through so much that I have to give him that amount of dignity. Despite pushing as hard as I do, we have made a couple of trips to the ER due to dehydration.

Pain management is our biggest challenge. Dad doesn't tolerate any narcotic at any dosage. It's a family thing. I have the same curse. The tiniest doses make him incredibly ill. Normal doses quickly build in his system until he has a psychotic break and becomes violent. Yeah, we found that out after his hip replacement surgery, FUN! At this point he uses viscous Lidocain, liquid morphine used sparingly, Marinol, and Tylenol. Due to what little pain meds he does take, he is always nauseated. We have unsuccessfully tried several different meds to counter it.

We haven't reached the turning point in how he feels yet. Thanks to experiences offered by other posters here, I know we have a couple more weeks before he starts to improve. Dad's oncologist mentioned that we were at the worst part of treatment but didn't explain that he would feel worse for a couple of weeks as the drugs and radiation continue to do their job.

However, the doctors are confident that they got the cancer! They hit it hard because it was unclear if there was lymph node involvement. We won't know for sure until his PET scan in 4-6 months. He had his 70th birthday in January but I have postponed his party until he's feeling better and can enjoy it. More than likely it will be a birthday/clear PET scan party.

I also wanted to give a shout out to all the caregivers out there. You are my heroes. I work full time as well as a full time student and often suffer from feeling overwhelmed and caregiver's guilt. The dedication, patience, understanding, and love that is required to be a caregiver is staggering. The stories I have read on this forum help pick me up when I start to feel guilty or resentful (or guilty because I'm feeling resentful). Thank you for sharing your experience and wisdom.

I will see you in the forums.