Hi Laurie,
If staging of cancer is an objective reflection of the seriousness of the illness,my case is definitely more serious than your dad's. With all the intensive radiation and chemo treatment and a severe depression episode a few months post treatment, I am glad to tell everyone that I am still alive and have been back to work full time for almost a year. It was a real nightmare during the last week of radiation when my neck was totally burned with blood and yet I had the mask tightly fixed around it. Complete loss of voice and severe mouth and throat pain. Drinking water was as difficult as eating any soft food. There were more sufferings but I don't mean to scare you and your dad. I just want to tell you most oral cancer patients have to go through all these before recovery. Some recover more quickly than others.I think it is unrealistic to expect your dad to be at a high fighting spirit at this stage although you see a lot of big fighters in this forum. Everyone has a story behind and has been trapped in the abyss of despair at one point or another. Watch out for your dad's problem of depression and seek medical help if it deteriorates because depression can be more frightening than cancer. As caregiver, you should also pay heed to your own mental and physical health.Take care.

Karen stage 4 tonsil cancer diagnosed in 9/01.