Dragon - I'm glad you're back. I do remember you from years ago and it does help to be able to talk and to share with someone. It also takes tremendous courage to be able to admit that you need help and that's the first step in starting to feel better. You have been through so much in caring for your Mom and worrying about your Dad, too - plus all the other responsibilities you have. Caregivers need help, too, to be able to stay strong and handle everything. Sometimes you have to shop around to find a doctor or someone you can talk to, but your health and well-being are important and your little boy needs a Mom that can answer his needs, too. Is your Mom's doctor someone you could ask for help for yourself, or for a referral? Do you have a friend or relative that could recommend someone? It is NO sign of weakness to ask for help, you know. And if you need help in asking for it, that's ok, too. If you have a family doctor, and tell him what you are going through, he may be able to recommend something that will ease your anxiety and be able to start feeling better. When my son was first diagnosed with SCC, I was newly retired and did not have any other responsibilities and I can tell you, I was a basket case of nerves and anxiety! I couldn't even talk on the phone without people asking me if I was ok! I let things go way too long before calling my doctor who prescribed something to ease my anxiety so I could go on and put one foot in front of the other. Keeping busy really helps, exercise, too and if you go back to school, that could help with getting your mind on other things but don't try to do everything all at once and do start with taking care of YOU. Re your Mom's strokes, it does take a long time to recover and it helps to have understanding people around. I never knew much about strokes and its effects until I read "My Stroke of Insight" by Jill Bolte Taylor, a brain surgeon who had a stroke herself. It's a really good, interesting read and gives such an interesting insight from the perspective of someone who has experienced surviving a stroke. Please take care of YOU. Your little boy needs a happy, healthy Mom.