Karen,

I don't believe in forcing anyone to do or try something they are adamantly opposed to. As a caregiver, it is hard to know how to respond to the "heavies"--those areas that a professional handles all the time. If you find yourself not knowing how to respond to Alex, I would admit that to him. When my husband asks me questions that I can't answer, I always suggest that he ask the surgeon, nurse, or some other professional as I am not qualified.

He asked me once while pointing to something "what did you think this lump is"? I said, "It looks like a lump. I don't know what it is. I'm an artist, a painter. I have no idea. If it doesn't go away in a week, maybe you should get it checked out by the doctor."

He appreciates this. In fact, it is reassuring to me that he shares his fears, thoughts, and questions. He trusts me to be a good listener and friend. While we are in this together, I am comfortable to "pass the buck" to the pros.

I say all of this because early on I felt the responsibility to have answers for all of Clark's questions. I don't know why I took on so much. When Alex tells you something that you can't answer, it is freeing to admit you don't know.

Please excuse me for getting a little off topic but your admission that you don't know may be a catalyst for Alex to seek help elsewhere.

Good luck!

My best to you and Alex-
Anita