I'm so sorry, Jeanna for what you are both having to go through. Do you have somebody close by that you can talk to? Or just to be with for a hug? It's good your appointment with the psychiatrist is coming up very soon. You do have to think about you and what you need to be able to be strong and help someone else. Bringing someone up from a very sad or dark place cannot be done all at once. It takes very small, slow steps. When my son was at his lowest point in his recovery, I would ask him "On a scale of 1-10 where are you?" and when he answered with a "2", I would ask him to try and work on a 3. And other times, seeing him sitting on the edge of the couch, bent way over with his head in his hands, all I could do was hold him close, telling him how much I cared and that things would get better. But you cannot help Rod get to a good place unless you help yourself, first - maybe do something physical, go outside, whatever it is that you like to do. Being a CG is sometimes so difficult and all you can do is put one foot in front of the other and try different things to see what works for you. I hope things improve soon for both you and Rod. Keep in touch and let us know what is happening.