Just got my SPOHNC newsletter and there is an article on clinical trials. Their web site, spohnc.org list trials and has info. Additional info is at cancer.gov and clinicaltrials.gov or by calling NCI at 1-800-4cancer.
You two together can fight this. As far as family they will join the fight with you when they find out the seriuosness of what's happening. If not, don't waste that fighting energy on them. At a time like this - they're either with you or against you...and right now you two are one.
Take care,
Dinah