Dear Tommy, You are getting wonderful information and support from a few of the many knowledgeable people on this forum. These survivors also have the most amazing and positive attitudes of any people I know. If you read other posts they have made, you will find many answers to your questions and, maybe more importantly, some advice that will help quiet your fears.

Waiting is truly difficult. Please try to distract yourself with things you enjoy doing to help take your mind off of it. Also, spend time doing things with your mom--it will help distract both of you. That way, you can really enjoy time with her before she is launched into surgery and treatment and life becomes busy.

Try to remain strong and remember to breathe! It is hard on a person to be worried and afraid all the time. Try to let go of some of the fear and worries--they have no useful purpose and can rob you of energy you will need to help your mom get through surgery and treatment. It is a lot to digest--getting an oral cancer diagnosis and then all the plans that follow. But, in a short while, your shock and fear will be replaced by a resolve to help your mom get through treatment. You will know more and you will probably find comfort in knowing what to expect. You will both get through it. Try not to think too far into the future. Take one step at a time and try to handle things as they come along.

Keep coming here for support and for answers. You are now connected with people who understand and can help guide you. Please keep us posted on how things go with your mom on Thursday.

Sending wishes for peace to you and positive thoughts for your mom,

Sandy