Thanks for all the thoughts you have expressed - they are appreciated. I had a great MD dinner with my son and we cleared the air regarding FDiL. He loves her and I want to be in their lives so I will not take it personal. In the big picture it is no big deal.

Funny thing happened this week. Emmett has changed. I found a counselor just a 1/2hr away, and when I told him what I was doing - he said nothing but hugged me. It was a moment and we both agreed it felt good so I told him I would like a hug each day. Seems like a small step but it feels huge to me. He gave me a senitemtal MD card and then I left for 3 days to visit my mom and he did just fine while I was gone. Since I have returned he is much calmer and happier. But then he also is able to work outside on projects which he loves doing. Surprisingly I was not worried about him while I was gone. I think we have turned a corner.

I liked the Dr. and after listening to me talk for an hour her comment was she feels I am so scared to lose him that I am upset and in a panic when he is not doing everything I feel he could/should be doing to fight this cancer while he is handling this by being in denial and is angry with me for forcing him to face it. He never asked what happened at the appt and I never talked about it but I will coninue going. So life goes on.