Karen - Just being CG to one person is a big enough job in itself, especially with your Mom that you are also thinking about, without having to worry about a shower. If your son's fiancee wants to take care of shower duties, why not? Maybe you can very sweetly say that caring for Emmett is a much bigger job than you thought, that you really appreciate her taking over and that you hope she can get the help of her friends (or relative) to make sure it's a nice shower. Whatever you can delegate to someone else, I would go with it, definitely. When my son was in treatment, my other children were grown, I was divorced and retired so I did not have other responsibilities and I can tell you that even with no other things to take care of, there were days when I was so stressed, without OCF to shore me up many times, I would have been ready for the funny farm. You can't do a good job of being caregiver if you don't take care of yourself! The suggestion about using the hour drive to organize your thoughts is a great idea. Maybe you could listen to your favorite music or an audio book of a favorite author.